Transforming Unpatriotic Feelings Into Personal Power
With July 4th upon us, I need to call out the elephant in the room: this normally festive time has become… complicated.
Patriotism has been declining in the U.S. for some time, and seems to be accelerating for many. Excitement over fireworks and barbecues, flag-waving, and pride in American values have been replaced by substantially more difficult feelings like sadness, anger, disillusionment, anxiety, fatigue, and grief.
This has certainly been top of mind for clients in my practice.
Does that resonate with you at all?
If your answer is yes, here are a few things I want to say.
It's important to recognize these emotions aren't coming from a lack of gratitude or care for your community. Rather, I’ve found it to be the opposite — that these uncomfortable feelings stem from a deep empathy for others, a painful awareness of societal struggles, and a hope for a more just and equitable world.
When systemic issues feel overwhelming, and daily headlines bring news of further division or injustice, it's natural for our emotional reserves to run low and for celebratory traditions to feel discordant with our internal experiences.You are not alone in feeling this way.
These emotions are deeply valid, reasonable responses to the current sociopolitical landscape. Unfortunately, it makes sense to feel overwhelmed, disconnected, pained, and exhausted by this seemingly endless turmoil.
Last but not least: you are not powerless.
You don’t have to resign yourself to simply ‘sitting’ in these feelings with nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Now, I’m NOT inciting anyone to lead a revolution or engage in acts of violence, nor am I suggesting your circumstances will change overnight. But I do see a path forward.
Let’s talk about what that may look like for you.
While individual therapy sessions focus on helping the singular person, individual wellbeing cannot be divorced from the larger context of one’s community.
People exist within ecosystems, and their individual lives are influenced by broader societal factors. That brings us to social justice.
As a therapist, I support clients in understanding their experiences and developing healthy coping mechanisms within a world that is NOT equitable or fair. Mental wellness in this kind of world is political by default, since social injustice negatively impacts individual health outcomes and resilience-building.
It is NOT my intention to argue or discuss “politics” here, only highlight that therapy can be a vital safe space for clients to explore their needs and values, assert healthy boundaries, find their voice, and start to heal from wounds caused by both individual traumas and larger systemic oppression.
How can you build resilience in a socially unjust world?
When external circumstances seem beyond your control, you may experience perceived powerlessness.
Focusing on what you CAN influence is vital to restoring your sense of control and self-agency. And what you CAN control are your thoughts and actions.
Here are some therapeutic principles that have helped my clients navigate difficult feelings and reclaim personal power:
1. Lessons from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Changing Your Thinking to Feel Better
CBT posits that how we think, feel, and act have direct effects on one another.
Example: if you think the world is a hopeless mess, you may end up feeling hopeless, and resign yourself to doing nothing instead of seeking positive change. Likewise, doing nothing changes nothing, including your sense of hopelessness. Not helpful.
CBT interventions therefore seek to target and change unhelpful or unproductive thinking patterns and actions that contribute to our emotional suffering.
Let’s look at a couple of CBT examples in action:
Problem: “all-or-nothing” / “black-and-white” thinking. It can be easy to fall into extreme, binary thought patterns in the face of complex societal issues and political dismay. We might think, "Everything is terrible," or "Nothing will ever change." This only amplifies feelings of hopelessness and paralysis.
Solution: challenge unproductive thoughts. Examine your beliefs. Is literally everything terrible? Are there NO moments of hope or gratitude in any part of your life? Learning to find these small truths creates a more balanced perspective. Instead of thinking "The world is a lost cause," you could choose to recognize "There are dedicated individuals in all walks of life working towards solutions in this country, even if progress feels slow."
Problem: self-isolation. When we feel down or overwhelmed, a common tendency is to withdraw from what once brought us joy and meaning. Unfortunately, this can lead to mental downward spiraling and the eventual loss of safe supports.
Solution: behavioral activation. Do the opposite. Counteract disengagement by purposefully pursuing what aligns with your values, even when you don't feel like it — especially when you don’t feel like it! "Action precedes motivation" – by doing good things for ourselves and others, we can cultivate non-toxic positivity and reclaim self-agency, even amidst broader distress with the world at large.
2. Lessons from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Dealing With Intense Feelings Right Now
DBT, an offshoot of CBT, was adapted for people who tend to feel emotions very intensely. At its heart are “dialectics,” which are seemingly contradictory thoughts or beliefs held by a person at the same time. In reality, dialectics are frequently not “either/or” but “and,” with two different thoughts both being simultaneously true. When dialectics are viewed as oppositional, however, they cause unnecessary added distress through cognitive dissonance.
Example: you can believe “the world sucks because it’s a chaotic mess” AND “there are signs of hope for the world.” Both can be true.
In this way, DBT interventions seek to create a helpful amount of space and distance from intense emotions, allowing us to survive the intensity without making things worse, and letting emotions ebb and flow (and eventually pass!) more easily, without dwelling or suffering in them.
Here are some DBT principles that can help you take action now:
Distress tolerance. Learn to cope with emotional crises without resorting to unhelpful behaviors, or adding to your own suffering by ruminating or self-criticizing. You can use…
TIPP skills, which stands for:
The goal of TIPP is to use swift, intense physical action to shift physiological energy and release emotional distress!
T-emperature (splashing cold water on your face, holding ice cubes)
I-ntense exercise (jumping jacks, push-ups, a short sprint down your hallway)
P-aced breathing (diaphragmatic deep breathing, box breathing)
P-aired muscle relaxation (progressive muscle relaxation)
Distraction. Find things that temporarily take your mind off difficult feelings (watch a show, play a game, listen to music).
Self-soothing. Find comfort using all 5 senses (take a warm bath, light your favorite candle, cozy up under soft blankets).
Build on the present. Find small ways to make the ‘now’ more bearable (listen to a favorite song, sip a warm/cool drink).
Mindfulness. Anchor yourself in the present — without judgment — when emotions about the past or future seem overwhelming. Simply notice your breathing, the sounds around you, and the sensations in your body, observing without self-criticism or complaint.
3. Lessons from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Living Authentically in Tough Times
ACT focuses on the acceptance of difficult experiences, in large part through psychological flexibility and a conscious commitment to taking actions that align with our values.
Example: you might revisit thoughts like “The world is a chaotic mess” with an eye on simply noticing and accepting their presence.
From there, ACT encourages the following:
Accept difficult emotions. Instead of fighting, ignoring, or suppressing unpatriotic thoughts and feelings, practice acceptance. This doesn't mean condoning or resigning yourself to injustice; it means acknowledging discomfort is present without letting it dictate your actions. Learn to stop struggling with your internal emotional experience, and put that energy toward what truly matters…
Connect with your values. Speaking of what matters, what do you care about? Is it compassion, justice, community, integrity, peace? Identify your core values; they are the compass for your actions, even (and especially!) when life gets tough. They help you align your lived experiences with your inner sense of meaning and purpose. This awareness is critical for what comes next…
Commit to action(s). Once your values are centered, you can make well-informed changes by taking "committed action." These are specific, concrete steps that move you in the direction of a life consistent with your values — the life you want to live. Reflect on where you DO versus DO NOT have personal power. It’s not about solving the world's problems overnight, but about living purposefully in day-to-day life, even amidst discomfort. This process is a powerful antidote to disillusionment and powerlessness.
How can you thrive beyond the therapy space?
Outside of the therapy office, consistent self-care is always important. I say this even on ‘good’ days.
So on ‘bad’ days — when the world outside seems turbulent, and you feel particularly lost, hopeless, or powerless — self-care becomes a critical lifeline to personal wellbeing and safety.
Self-care looks like many things to different people. It’s worth reflecting on what brings you peace, joy, comfort, healing, and reward, well in advance of feeling disillusioned or powerless in the world.
If you’re not sure where to start, here are some ideas:
Set boundaries with news and social media. There’s a fine line between staying up to date with current events and being flooded by distressing news and vicarious trauma. Set limited times for media consumption. Be intentional in selecting news and entertainment sources. Mute or unfollow those that repeatedly trigger or overwhelm you. Your mental bandwidth is finite; protect it.
Prioritize rest. In a culture that glorifies productivity and output, burnout is common, and taking time and space to rest can feel like a radical act of self-care. I’ve spoken previously about the importance of quality sleep. You can add to the list: deliberate, planned downtime; frequent breaks throughout the day; moments of quiet reflection or meditation; positive, empowering affirmations.
Connect with nature. Exposure to nature has proven mental health benefits. You don’t have to forest-bathe, simply spend a few minutes in a park or your backyard. If you’re homebound or don’t have access to green space, crack a window and let in some fresh air. Pull back the curtains on a sunny day and bask in some rays. Nature offers us opportunities to shift perspectives, tap into our 5 senses, and ground ourselves in the present peace, away from the chaos. Every little bit helps.
Move your body. As I’ve also written about before, physical activity can be a healthy outlet for pent-up energy from emotional distress. Simple, mindful movements include a quick walk, a few minutes of stretching or yoga, a quick dance break at home, or actual structured exercise like a weekly workout class or personal training. Find what feels good for you physically, and start from there.
Express yourself creatively. Embrace curiosity and out-of-the-box thinking. Writing, drawing, painting, playing music, even cooking can be powerful ways to process emotions and express thoughts from innovative perspectives. You may even enter flow state or find new creative purpose.
Engage your community. I cannot overstate the value of community. Even small acts of connection can combat feelings of loneliness and isolation. Reach out to friends and family for support, or just to chat. If that’s not available to you, consider volunteering, or joining local groups that share a common hobby, interest, or mission. Find those who align with your values. Collective action is both social self-care and a show of your personal power.
What does your path forward look like?
Your emotional experience is your truth, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel about a national holiday.
This July 4th is not a time to judge your emotional responses but to offer yourself comfort through self-compassion. By adopting these therapeutic principles and actively engaging in practices that foster resilience, you're not only caring for yourself but also contributing to a more emotionally intelligent society.
There is immense power in this.
That said, the CBT, DBT, and ACT principles I mentioned above are only a small fraction of therapeutic tools available. If you still find yourself consistently overwhelmed and heavy-hearted from what’s happening around you, please know that you don't have to carry this weight alone. There is no shame in connecting with your community in challenging times like these, or reaching out to a mental health professional to develop a personalized ‘therapeutic toolbox’ if you don’t yet have one.
You have the power and the right to find community, take actions that align with your values, and live your truth.
In my practice, I enjoy collaborating with clients to challenge narratives that aren’t serving them, grow through conflicts, and build resilience throughout. And I’d be honored to offer you a safe space in which you can process your experiences without judgment or stigma.
To get started, you may schedule a complimentary 10-minute phone consultation here.
Disclaimer: This blog is intended for informational purposes only, and does not constitute medical or psychiatric advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare professional directly for personalized guidance and support.