Mid-February vibe check: how are you doing?

If you’re anything like the clients in my practice, then you’ve likely seen an upswing in polarization and negativity in the U.S. recently — in the news, in social media, just in general.

It's easy to get caught up in this whirlwind of negativity when we seem to only hear about the worst of humanity. The world can begin to look very harsh and unforgiving, very quickly, with overwhelming friction, division, intolerance, suspicion, fear, and hatred. You might already feel stressed, angry, hopeless, or disconnected from all of this. Maybe you’ve retreated inward to focus more on self-preservation and survival.

Here's the thing: in a society that often prizes individual achievement over collective growth, kindness can be a powerful antidote to these mental health challenges we now face.

In light of this, I’d like to take a moment to spotlight Random Acts of Kindness Day.

Random acts Of… Kindness? There’s a day for that?

There sure is!

While not a federally recognized holiday, February 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day, or RAK Day, which celebrates and encourages generosity, compassion, and empathy.

RAK Day was created in the 1990s by The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation to encourage people to perform selfless acts of kindness towards others. The idea is that doing kind acts yourself creates a ripple effect of positivity; the more people buy in and participate, the more the world is made a better place. And it all starts with one simple, kind act at a time.

Today RAK Day is celebrated worldwide, and serves to remind us of the momentous power of simply doing good.

Why focus on kindness?

Kindness isn’t just a “feel-good concept” — it’s one backed by science.

Here’s what the research says about performing acts of kindness:

• Leads to reduced stress by lowering both blood pressure and cortisol (a stress hormone).

• Leads to reduced depression through stronger social bonds — in some cases, even more effectively than CBT therapy!

• Leads to increased happiness regardless of whether you observe a kind act happening OR perform that kind act yourself.

• Leads to increased emotional wellbeing by boosting self-esteem, social connectedness and belonging, and a sense of meaning and purpose.

The science is clear: acts of kindness have a positive impact on mental health — for both the giver AND the receiver.

Why focus on kindness now?

Remember that uptick in societal divisions and negativity I mentioned before? You’re not imagining it, sorry to say.

For those of us in the U.S., the statistics seem to confirm how chaotic and antagonistic things may feel these days:

• Just last week, Pew Research Center reported social divisions have felt more intense since the pandemic (which did not itself create these divides, but did exacerbate existing ones).

• According to Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), the number of hate groups has also trended upward since it began collecting this data, from 599 in 2000 to 1,430 in 2023.

• The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) further reports “hate and harassment increased by nearly every measure and within almost every demographic group“ from 2022 to 2023 alone. (They also have an interactive H.E.A.T. Map, if you’d like to play with the data for yourself.)

…That said, have you ever thought about kindness as a form of rebellion? As a peaceful type of resistance or dissent? As a quiet revolution that starts within ourselves and touches the lives of others, eventually transforming the world around us in a positive way?

The truth is this: kindness can be all of those things. And we may need those things now more than ever. Hence, kindness now.

What’s the point in doing a random act of kindness anymore?

Well, kindness itself is the point!

Not only is kindness scientifically beneficial and statistically necessary, but it also sends a poignant message to ourselves and those around us:

Choosing kindness means saying "no" to the oppression of everyday unkindness & negativity, and saying "yes" to hope, compassion — the belief that each of us has the power to make the world a better place.

While the personal benefits of kindness are numerous and well-documented, it’s time we also recognize kindness for the profoundly positive radical gesture that it is.

This is especially true with acts of kindness directed towards marginalized or oppressed groups. Want to challenge systems of power and inequality? Show compassion and empathy where possible. When we push back against unkind narratives that “other-ize” and dehumanize groups of people, we affirm their dignity and inherent worth, support our communities, and build upon the power of our collective actions. We disrupt the status quo, and create room for both social justice and mindful being alike.

In the grand scheme of things, showing compassion to others certainly doesn’t worsen their day. It may even inspire them to show kindness too, creating a chain reaction of positivity that is incredibly healing for ourselves and society around us. Ultimately, it's a reminder that our kind actions have the power to create a better world AND that we already carry that power within each of us, every single day.

Feeling a little more empowered yet? I hope so, because that’s a powerful antidote to apathy and cynicism, as well as a catalyst for positive change.

It is within your control to resist these negative, external forces by simply being kind yourself. It is within your power to notice the inherent goodness that resides within humanity — and to embody that goodness yourself.

So let's choose to be the change we want to see in the world. Let's choose to believe in the power of human connection, and in the transformative potential of kindness.

Ready to be a part of that change, but not sure what counts as an act of kindness?

In the realm of positive psychology, acts of kindness are selfless actions that help or uplift someone (or yourself!).

However, you don't need grand gestures to become an agent of change. Even so-called little actions carry weight and can make a real difference.

As a starting point, here are some free, relatively low-effort, everyday acts to consider:

• Hold the door open for someone.

• Let someone go ahead of you in line.

• Offer a heartfelt compliment.

• Listen (actively) to a friend in need.

• Volunteer your time to a cause you care about.

• Leave a note of encouragement for a loved one, coworker, or stranger.

• Thank someone who has helped you or meant a lot to you.

• Offer to housesit/petsit/babysit for loved ones.

• Give up your seat on public transportation.

• Donate blood or plasma.

• Reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while.

• Help an elderly neighbor with yard work or snow removal.

• Use uplifting language in as many interactions as possible.

• Smile at those around you (assuming your safety is not in question!).

In conclusion, small acts of kindness can make a big world of difference.

While RAK Day provides a focused opportunity to celebrate and practice kindness, please remember that the value of kindness transcends a single day. It's a way of being, a conscious choice we can make every day.

Choosing to do something kind means:

• Choosing to focus on the good in the world.

• Choosing to invite others to build empathy and connection.

• Choosing to make a difference in the lives of those around us.

This is true regardless of how “big” or “small” the kindness is. After all, even “small” acts of kindness add up. And kindness itself is a beacon of hope, illuminating the good in people & inspiring us to believe in a better tomorrow.

By choosing kindness, we actively cultivate optimism and resilience, both of which are crucial for maintaining mental wellbeing in challenging times such as these.

My challenge to you this RAK Day is to participate in creating a kinder, more compassionate world — the kind of world you really want to live in — by doing one small, simple act of kindness in the days ahead. Let's show the world that kindness is a powerful force for personal and societal transformation.

Give it a try. Your mental health may thank you for it.

Choose hope over cynicism, connection over division, love over hate — choose kindness.

Disclaimer: This blog is intended for informational purposes only, and does not constitute medical or psychiatric advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare professional directly for personalized guidance and support.

If you’re having difficulty being kind to yourself, or don’t know what that really means, it may be worth exploring further in a therapeutic setting. I love collaborating with clients to challenge negative narratives, grow self-esteem, and build resilience. If you’d like to try working together, I invite you to reach out and schedule a complimentary 10-minute consultation to get started!