ccc-counseling.com

View Original

Volunteer Your Way to Meaningful Connections

Charlene Chow

In a world that’s connected 24/7, more and more people feel isolated and alone.

This was true even before COVID-19, and is something I still see a lot in my practice even though lockdowns have long ended. In fact, it’s such a problem that in 2023 the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a national epidemic, finding it as harmful to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It’s linked to a host of other mental and physical health risks, and increases our risk of premature death by 26% (or 29% when social isolation is also a factor!).

The thing is, if you feel this way, you're not alone in it, and you can definitely do something about it.

With MLK Day approaching, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the importance of community, and how volunteering can have a positive impact on your wellbeing if you’re feeling lonely.


First things first, what’s going on with The “Loneliness Epidemic”?

It seems dichotomous at first glance. Thanks to social media and the constant connectivity of the internet, we have access to more people than ever before. Yet so many of us only feel more disconnected than ever. Then COVID-19 exacerbated the issue, of course.

Why hasn’t all of this connectivity stopped the loneliness epidemic?

  • Technology is a double-edged sword. Sure, it's great to be able to keep in touch online. But sometimes, those online connections can actually replace real-life interactions, which simply have no substitute. And that can lead to real world isolation and loneliness.

  • Life itself is messy. Major life changes (moving, changing jobs, personal loss, etc.) can really shake things up. The pandemic is a prime example of how abrupt life changes exacerbated our collective loneliness. Building new real-world connections — or just maintaining old ones — can seem impossible when you're going through transitions of this nature.

  • Loneliness can feel… well, lonely. It can be really difficult to admit when you're struggling with loneliness. You may think you’re the only one going through it, or that there's ‘something wrong with you.’ Self-stigma may hold you back from addressing the issues or making changes in a meaningful, helpful way. Thus, loneliness persists.

What makes all this even worse is that loneliness isn't ONLY a feeling — it also has tangible impacts on your physical and mental health, as mentioned above.

Loneliness can contribute to mental and physical health issues that are already considered epidemics in the public health sphere.

Who’s affected by the loneliness epidemic?

It turns out loneliness presents unique challenges for different generations. Baby Boomers face more social isolation related to aging or loss of independent living. Gen X has historically internalized loneliness to a greater extent, even wearing self-reliance as a badge of honor. Millennials have delayed traditional milestones like marriage, childrearing, and homebuying, thus fell ‘out of sync’ and became isolated from the expected experiences of their life stage. One might then think Gen Z, having grown up fully connected online, would feel least lonely of all, but the double-edged nature of social media has perhaps impacted them most severely.

More is being done now to target causes of loneliness specific to each generation. Gen Z for example has apparently taken to tackling their loneliness by joining group workout classes. Millennials and Gen Xers are moving back toward third spaces like parks, cafes, and malls, while Baby Boomers have gone the other direction toward intergenerational programs and technology to facilitate connection.

There is no one single solution to ‘fix’ loneliness for every generation. But as I mentioned, MLK Day is around the corner. In honor of that, I have one different recommendation for tackling loneliness, one that ALL generations can find a way to participate in: volunteering.

Why is MLK Day relevant to this conversation?

MLK Day is the perfect time to think about how to give back to your community. Why? Because it’s more than just a federal holiday.

Here in the U.S., it's officially designated as a "National Day of Service" to encourage all Americans to volunteer in the name of Dr. King's legacy and his commitment to social justice and service.

Dr. King believed fundamentally in the power of working together to create a more just and equitable society. He said the following:

and…

Dr. King knew what many who volunteer on a regular basis also know, which is that even small acts of service can make a big difference — not just for others, but for yourself.

How, you might ask?

Volunteering is A Way to Connect and Give Back.

Volunteering is commonly thought of as something that helps others, not something that helps the volunteer. But helping others and helping yourself are not mutually exclusive. It’s especially true if you’re feeling lonely.

This is because volunteering can help you to…

  • Create shared experiences. When you work with others towards a common goal, you’re working side-by-side with people who care about the same things you do. You might share stories, laughter, frustrations, advice, core values. Shared experiences create a sense of camaraderie and belonging, connecting you to others emotionally in addition to physically.

  • Find purpose. Likewise, volunteering connects you to a collaborative project bigger than you alone. By contributing to a cause you believe in, you're making a real difference in the world. That knowledge is incredibly empowering. If you feel lost or directionless, volunteering makes you a part of something more than yourself, and can help you find grander meaning and direction.

  • Boost self-esteem. Helping others provides a sense of accomplishment. Think about what it might look like to use your skills and talents to make a positive impact. Consider what you have to offer, even if it’s ‘just’ time. Seriously, I’ve never met a volunteer organizer who didn’t appreciate people showing up, first and foremost. Nothing can get done if no one shows up. Showing up matters.

  • Make new friends. Last but not least, volunteering puts you in a position to meet new people who share your interests and values. Making high quality friendships can feel exponentially harder once you leave school behind. Volunteering can serve a similar function: expanding your social circle in a structured, time-limited way, with the potential to turn brief connections into real world friendships that enrich your life in the long-term.

Bottom line: when you volunteer, you're getting out there, building confidence, meeting new people with shared interests and values, and making a difference in the world at the same time. Volunteering highlights your capacity to do tangible good AND connect to others within your community.

Win-win!

Interested but don’t know where to begin?

The best way to find fulfillment volunteering is to focus first on your passions. What are you interested in? What kind of impact do you want to make? What do you value? The key is to pursue the things you care about most.

Off the top of my head, one cause that’s close to my own heart is animal shelter welfare. Another is food security and sustainability. I have volunteered personal time to both causes, and more.

Now, one or both of these causes may resonate with you… or they may not. Whatever the case, that’s okay! One thing I love about volunteering is that there is truly something for everyone.

If you’re still a little stuck, here are some general types of volunteer work you might consider:

  • Mentoring: Become a mentor for youth, your alumni network, or any number of other folks in need of guidance, especially if you have a special skillset or community affiliation.

  • Socializing: Work with isolated older adults in nursing homes, or folks with disabilities or in the hospital, or animals at your local shelter.

  • Group volunteering: Participate in group volunteer activities like building homes, tending community gardens, or cleaning up local parks & waterways.

  • Micro-volunteering: Really time-crunched? There are short-term, low-commitment tasks (nonprofit online studies, historical document transcription, tagging photos for science, etc.) that take as little as a few minutes and can be done at home at your convenience.

  • Voluntourism: Really have a lot of free time? Volunteer tourism may appeal more to you — but it’s worth noting that care must be taken to ensure projects are truly sustainable, ethical, and free from exploitive practices that negatively impact local communities, as even well-meaning groups can have negative consequences.

Once you’ve honed in on what genuinely interests you, then you can conduct a more thorough, concrete search.

Here are some more resources if you’re ready to start searching…

NATIONAL:

International:

STATE-SPECIFIC:

New York

Massachusetts

As a licensed practitioner in MA and NY, I’ve briefly included some potential resources for those states. However, this list is in no way meant to indicate my personal endorsement for any specific organizations, nor does it represent the wide range of volunteer opportunities that are sure to exist wherever you are. Inclusion of any organization on this list should not be interpreted as a therapeutic directive, only as one possible starting point.

My aim is to encourage self-reflection and curiosity. It is up to you to look internally, center what you value, and go from there.

That said, if you’re struggling to identify any interests or if you want to find other ways of combating loneliness, it may benefit you to seek support from loved ones or consider consulting a mental health professional for more personalized guidance. In my practice, I love working with clients to uncover their core values and intrinsic motivations. If that’s something you’d like to explore together, I invite you to schedule a complimentary phone consultation to speak with me directly.

Regardless, I want to emphasize that volunteering does not need to ONLY be something you think about when MLK Day approaches. It can be — and is, for many — a way of life.

Volunteering is all about connecting with others, growing as a human, and making the world a better place along the way.

Dr. King believed that we all have the intrinsic capacity to actualize this. And you know what? I believe that too.

Disclaimer: This blog is intended for informational purposes only, and does not constitute medical or psychiatric advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare professional directly for personalized guidance and support.